Writing clip #1

Winner of the Best Profile Article award at Western Academy of Photography in June 2004



A Mother’s Legacy
by Hayley Cornelius


Ruth Douglas was my Grandmother. She died eight years before I was born, and I regret never having the honour of meeting this remarkable woman, whose spirit lives on in her three remarkable daughters. Researching and writing this story was a life-altering project. This is dedicated to every woman who fought in the battle against breast cancer. You have left behind a legacy of strength and courage and given your daughters hope.

In 1968 breast cancer took Ruth Douglas's life and left three little girls to grow up without a mother. Thirty-six years later breast cancer haunts those three girls. While facing similar challenges they resurrect the courage their mother left them and are grateful for the bridges she built many years ago to help make their journey easier than hers.
In the 1960's, cancer research and treatment were in the early stages and Ruth was there, searching for a cure through imperfect radiation sessions and experimental tests and treatments. Back then, medical technology couldn't save Ruth Douglas, but advancements in research and treatments, in part because of her sacrifices, will likely save her daughters' lives.
The three sisters, Catherine, Judy and Karen, are still fully aware of the absence of this inspirational woman, but have spent most of the last 36 years in silence about their mother's death. As the topic of breast cancer has creeps into their lives, their daughters are asking questions and they can no longer avoid the topic.
"What neither of my sisters likely know is that at the time [of mom's death], I blocked out most memories of my mother," says Karen Jantz, Ruth's youngest daughter, who was 11 when her mom passed away. "I used to tell people, when they asked, 'I don't have a mother.' which then ended all further enquiries."
"Many years later, I gradually came to realize that I certainly did have a mother, and I actually had to relearn many things about her, including what she looked liked." The many black and white photos she treasures doesn't do justice to the beauty of Ruth's dark hair and warm brown eyes. Piecing together the life of a woman long gone involved digging deeper than any of them had gone before. Ruth's surviving sister, Doreen Kellet, living in England, has helped stitch together the pages of their mother's history.

Born in England in 1923, Ruth Webb grew up in North London with her younger sisters, Beryl and Doreen, and their baby brother Don.
"I remember my Aunt Doreen telling us stories about growing up as teenagers in wartime, London," says Judy Douglas, Ruth's middle daughter. "She said they played and ran about the same as usual, the only difference was, when the sirens sounded they would take cover. Then they carried on when the air raid was over. What a strange way to grow up."
Ruth was 16 when the second World War started. "Ruth was at High School studying for Matriculation and mother didn't want to disrupt her education, as she was very clever," says Doreen. "So she went with her school to Northampton, away from the disruptions of the bombings." Nearly a year later, Ruth returned to London and started working in the picture library at the News Chronicle offices on Fleet Street, one of London's leading newspapers at the time.
Around this time, Ruth's mother, Nelly Mina, was busy choosing a suitable husband for her eldest daughter. "She was a tiny women but unbelievably controlling," says Catherine Douglas, Ruth's eldest daughter. Nelly arranged marriages for all of her children. By her mother's will, and against her own, Ruth was engaged to a man of wealth and prominence.
Later that year she was called up for active service with the Women's Auxiliary Air Force (WAAF). She was a plotter in the RADAR section, guiding all aircraft in and out of the airfields. Her family worried about her working at the airfields, one of the main targets during the war. "She did a lot of things that women didn't do back then," says Catherine. While stationed in Worchester, Ruth learned to play tennis, and soon met Robert Douglas.
Though born in Motherwell, Scotland, Robert had lived in Canada since he was 15 years old. Twelve years later a war broke out overseas and he joined the Royal Canadian Air Force (RCAF) to work on the radar systems. One day, while stationed in Worchester, England, a friend of his asked Robert to take his place in a doubles tennis game. He hesitantly agreed.
That fateful day on the tennis courts, Robert played against the most beautiful young woman he had ever seen. When Ruth left the courts, he said to his tennis partner, "If I ever get married, it will be to that woman."
Before long Robert and Ruth fell in love and got engaged. Not wanting to anger Ruth's mother they kept the engagement secret. Robert ordered the wedding rings and a watch from Birks in Canada, and waited patiently for them to arrive months later, before finally announcing their engagement.
The military organized the wedding ceremony in Little Comberton, Worchester. On July 8, 1944, Ruth exchanged vows in a wedding dress borrowed from the Air Force, in the presence of her family and her displeased mother. Doreen says, "Mother was rather upset that she hadn't done all the wedding plans, and 'felt a bit like a guest at her own daughters wedding', as she put it."
Robert wanted to take his bride back to Canada and start their lives together. Ruth was pregnant, which was good news for more than obvious reasons. Though Robert had to leave without her, they took comfort in knowing that priority sailings were given to pregnant war brides. Unfortunately, she miscarried and her crossing was delayed. She was ill for a long time and it was almost two years before she could travel.
"She must have had an adventurous spirit in order to have the guts to leave her homeland," says Karen, "to travel on a ship for three weeks to make the crossing as a war-bride to a strange new and 'wild' country where she knew nobody except her husband who she hadn't seen for two years. What courage."
Ruth wrote stories for Legionnaires Magazine about arriving in Canada and embracing it as her own country, an attitude few war brides adopted. She also wrote for a women's magazine about homemaking.
"She believed women could do things independent of husband and children, and still maintain a good home," says Catherine.
"She was an excellent cook," says Karen. "Every Sunday we would have a traditional 2pm roast dinner (beef, pork or chicken) with all the trimmings-including a home-baked pie for dessert, with the best-ever crusts, sometimes with precise lattice-work, or meringue so high and golden that it looked like it came from the bakery."
“She never seemed to raise her voice," Karen recalls. "She was always able to get her message across and I never wanted to go against her wishes. On one occasion, I remember getting caught at a silly juvenile lie. She didn't get visibly upset, but her expression of disappointment in me was so devastating as a 10 year old, that to this day, I do not lie."
Judy remembers her mom's love of gardens and nature. "I remember walking with her through High Park and James Garden in Toronto." One of her favourite places to go was Belfountain Park at the Forks of the Credit outside the city.
What all three sisters remember the most about Ruth was her creativity, a trait that all of them have absorbed from their mother. She would knit or crochet sweaters and scarves, make candles or sew Barbie clothes. Catherine still keeps a hand-sewn apron of her mothers and Karen remembers a custom bedspread her mom made for her on her new zigzag sewing machine.
"It is only now, as an adult that I can appreciate the effort, creativity and many hours that went into that," Karen reminisces. Ruth made her own fancy dresses, and loved to wear red.

In the early '60s, Ruth was diagnosed with breast cancer, and had one breast removed. She suffered severe radiation burns while undergoing treatment. She was one of the first people to be so badly burned, causing doctors to re-evaluate the radiation levels they administered to cancer patients in the future.
Ruth was also one of the first women to agree to be a subject for experimental medical tests and treatments. The research gathered from those preliminary tests has helped researchers gain valuable knowledge that has led to current affective treatments. After a day of tests and treatments at the hospital, Ruth would head downstairs and help out in the children's ward.
The treatments successfully chased the cancer into remission. After her surgery and recuperation from the radiation burns, she quickly realized that there were no clothes designed for people like her.
"Mom was an accomplished seamstress, and believed that she could ‘fix something up’ that would work...and she did,” Catherine recalls. Using an orange one-piece with a high V-neck, she added a prosthetic breast and a leopard style edging around the neck and armpits and around the back to cover all of the scar tissue, and a prosthetic breast.
In the early 1960's no one talked about cancer, let alone thought to plan a clothing line to accommodate the survivors. "Mom simply filled a need," says Catherine. She can't remember if Ruth took the idea to a big department store or just the hospital but believe it was a place where they fitted people with prosthetics, and one of the only places they had 'specialty' items for breast cancer survivors. Ruth left the bathing suit with them and was excited that they were going to use it to help others who survived the surgery and wanted to go out in public. Ruth made a second bathing suit in red-her favourite colour.
Five years to the day after her first treatment, she was back in the hospital. She had been sick before that but didn't tell anyone. The doctors let her go home for Easter.
Ruth Douglas died on June 4th, 1968. She was 45 years old. Catherine was 18. Judy was 16. Karen was 11 years old.
"We were supposed to be walking that day at the Relay for Life," Catherine sighed. "I think the saddest part of her passing is that no one ever talked about it." Their dad went into such a deep depression that for 3 years after Ruth's death, he drank himself to sleep every night, so he wouldn't have to talk about it. The girls were young and had no other family around. Catherine shares, "We didn't know how to celebrate her life."
This June, Catherine and Judy honoured their late mother by taking part in the Relay for Life walk-a-thon they had missed 36 years earlier.
Thirty years after her mother died from breast cancer, Catherine was diagnosed with the same disease. She is currently healthy and cancer-free thanks to modern medicine, and perhaps because of sacrifices her mother made 30 years earlier.
"I like to think I have inherited her courage to try new things and to learn," says Catherine, "and the desire to succeed. I certainly didn't inherit her patience," she chuckles.
Karen recently took advantage of the genetic testing available to discover that she too had the gene that could potentially trigger breast cancer. She took preventative measures earlier this year and had a hysterectomy and a full mastectomy and breast reconstruction. Judy will be getting the genetic testing done later this year.
"I'm doing this mostly for my daughters. The more we can find out, the better chance we all have of preventing it." Judy holds many treasures of her mom's, including a pewter jewellery box that had been passed down from her grandmother and her great-grandmother. She also remarried two years ago with her mother's wedding band. She also married a Douglas.
"My dad used to say to me that I remind him most of mom," Judy smiles. She received her mom's patience, intelligence and her craftiness.
Karen regrets that she never had the opportunity to really develop a relationship with her mom. “I think that usually comes at a later time in life, once a child grows up some, and can relate to a parent as another adult, rather than as 'just a parent.' I don't think even my daughter and I started building a relationship as such, until she was in her teen years and we could talk about things on a more meaningful level."
"I have been told by Aunt Doreen that I laugh like mom did," Karen smiles. "She is one of the most influential and pivotal people of my life, even though it was for much too short a time."
Doreen quotes the words she chose for Ruth’s memorial plaque: “We loved her for ‘her courage and loyalty.’”